Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to live here forever, and then I wake up covered in blood and soaked in my own tears.

I’m at work on Saturday and the Internet is down. I can’t imagine many things worse than that scenario. I’ve got a five day weekend next week, but as is to be expected in Korea, holidays aren’t really holidays. I guess it’s a good tradeoff, one Saturday for three days off during the week, but right now it’s pretty awful.

I almost fought a kid in my class this morning. All he does is say how much he hates America. Bill O’Reilly would call me a far-left America-hating Kool-aid drinking liberal douchebag, but despite my lowly status, I still feel the need to defend America, especially in a country like Korea. This kid was going on about how America is selfish because it hasn’t helped free the Korean hostages from the Taliban. Well, look little kid, it’s the damn Taliban, what do you want America to do? Go up to them and ask nicely? Koreans would love it if the Afghan gov’t gave in and released the Taliban prisoners in exchange for freeing the Koreans. There’s a reason, though, why you don’t negotiate with terrorists, and it’s basically common sense. You make that swap, and guess what happens next week, and the week after that, more hostages, more demands. The thing is Koreans wouldn’t care if next month 100 Italians or 100 Americans were taken hostage, it might not even make front page news. As long as the almighty Koreans are free, all is well in the world, screw everyone else. I read an article that said the incident might sour U.S.-Korea relations. At this point, maybe that’s a good thing.

I never posted this on Saturday and it’s now Monday afternoon and I’m waiting at the dentist office for my 100^th appointment in the last couple months. I spend more money at the dentist than most people spend on food every year. I wish someone had told me when I was 13 that drinking 5 cans of soda a day and brushing your teeth once a week will cause serious problems a decade later. But I’m not leaving this office until they’re done, I just spent five minutes arguing with the receptionist, who kept flipping through the calendar and saying “appointment, appointment.” No chance, I need a two month break from the dentist. I’ll sit here until Wednesday if that’s what it takes.

A new semester starts at school in a couple weeks and the head Korean teacher called me out into the hall today to get my opinion on some of the books she’s looking at assigning. Earlier in my contract, I would have just said fine, whatever, they’re all great. But at this point, I figure I might as well tell them when they are being retarded, for the sake of the kids. The book she showed me had a bunch of newspaper articles in it followed by simple who, what, when, where questions. The book was 25 pages long. I could finish teaching that book in about a week. I told her it was way too short, another Korean teacher, who’s a moron, argued the book was fine, you could just give the kids tests to take up the time. What they should have known about my teaching methods by now is that I prefer, in fact I insist, that I put in the least effort possible. Making up tests takes time = I don’t do it.

I hate any kind of surprise gathering/lunch/dinner/anything involving me having to sit around a table with my co-workers. This happened on Saturday afternoon as I guess the director was feeling bad for making us work. So she ordered everyone Chinese food. I really just wanted to take mine, sit at my desk and watch a movie, but that probably would have pissed everyone off. The new foreign guy, Nathan, got his first real glimpse of what it's like to eat with these people. "So what's the weather like in New Zealand?" "Well, it rains a lot more there". Korean, blah blah, whine whine, blah. Five minutes later...."Do you like chicken?" "Yeah, it's great." Blah, I'm terrible, Korean, blah. At one point, Nathan told the director how the kids are always surprised when he tells them children in New Zealand only go to school from 9am-3pm. Director: "You didn't go to academy after school?" Nathan: "No." Director: "You must have been poor."

I lost my new camera over the weekend. I assume it was when I was grinding up against a pole again or jumping up and down in a giant circle jerk with Korean guys. So that means crappy photos posted here for a while (aka Bender half naked), unless I decide to go buy a new memory card for my old camera, but I’d have to leave the 1-mile radius around my apartment to do that, which doesn’t happen unless I think I have a chance to get laid.

I just read something online that said Rudy Giuliani’s daughter was in a ‘Barack for President’ group on facebook. Not only has his son to told him to screw-off, now his 17-year-old daughter is lining up behind a diehard Democrat. Now that’s just hilarious. It’s one thing to have a few family problems, but jesus, Rudy’s family is more messed up than a couple of crackheads living in a box trying to raise 9 kids. If he’s gets the Republican nomination with that kind of track record, Republicans will pretty much have to scrap the whole “pro-family” mantra. Oh, and the best part about Rudy’s daughter’s facebook profile. She’s interested in men and she’s looking for: random play, whatever I can get. Holy Shit. That’s what douchebags like me put in their profiles. The only chicks who do that are either really fat or really big sluts. Either way, I think I’m going to poke her later tonight.