If one more Korean kid tries to stick their hands up my ass...

I posted my resume on the main Korea teaching job boards and I got an email the next day offering an interview for a job next year paying about $2500 a month plus 13 weeks paid vacation. I actually was considering it for a couple hours, but then I realized if I came back here again it would be solely for the money. I would jump at an interview for that job. In any other country. There's a reason why foreign teachers get paid so much here, they have to offer absurd amounts of money in order to lure people away from the rest of Asia. That being said, there's a price that I could be bought at. Maybe a university job working 20 hours a week plus $60,000 a month. Yeah, i think it'd come back to Korea then.

I've made up for my lack of skills with girls by becoming best friends with a bunch of middle aged Korean men. I met one guy last Sunday at Woodstock while he was watching a soccer game, he told me to meet him there again on Wednesday for the next game. So I did and as expected I didn't pay any money but got way too drunk for a Wednesday. Korea lost the soccer game so him and his buddies were all depressed. During the game, they all just yelled out "Shibbal" (Fuck) or "Geseki" (Son of a Bitch) over and over again. It took me a few months to figure out that geseki was really a curse word. The students say it in class all the time and they told me that it was a "dog baby" so I just thought that was cute so I decided to say it all the time, too. But lucky for me, it seems the kids don't go home and tell their parents their white teacher curses at them all the time.

There was a married couple at Woodstock with my new old friend and it was the wife's birthday. She was 31 or something. But I told her that her face looked 24. That was a lie. Her face was awful. When we left Woodstock, she was pretty tanked since the bar kept giving her free shots and as we're walking to a soju place, she's hanging all over me. The husband was walking up ahead and this girl keeps telling me I should have a girlfriend. She told me I was shy. I'm thinking yeah, you know your husband is drunk, he's about 250 pounds, and there's no chance in hell he likes you molesting some white guy you just met. As I was going home later that night, she ran outside and asked when she would see me again. I said maybe after all the bruises heal after your husband beats the shit out of you tonight.

I went to another bar after that by myself, just planned on having one gin tonic. But then more middle aged Korean guys wanted to be my best friend. They challenged me to darts, loser buys the other beer. I almost wanted to lose, thinking about the next morning but they were the worst darts players I've ever seen. I'd say they only hit the board at a 1/5 clip. So I beat them twice and arranged for a gay threesome on Saturday. It's funny (or tragic) how easy it is for me to hang out with dudes while it's such a pain in the ass dealing with girls and requires way too much effort on my part.

I woke up at 8 on Thursday, still pretty drunk. I was thinking wow I feel ok maybe it wont be so bad. It was by 10 when I got to my first class, which turns out is the one with 12 of the youngest kids, where I was ready to start throwing them and myself through a wall. I quickly remembered why I instituted the no drinking during the week policy after my first month there.

I've got 10 weeks left here and I'm not expecting to be productive or do anything meaningful during that time. I've got three days off next month and then another week off just before I come home, but I have no real desire to travel anywhere or see anything else in Korea. I want to sleep, watch movies, play poker and drink heavily. I have bronchitis again and my eyes burn everyday, the air in this city has raped my body. If you are currently in America, as you take your next breath, full of clean delicious oxygen without toxic chemicals, think of me and pray.