Suck my Toes.

J.K. Rowling Hints At Harry Potter Date Rape


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These videos are from the Onion, and they are hilarious.

I have to give Korea some credit here, right when I was about to write it off as a terrible country, it produced some nice surprises for my birthday on Wednesday. After work, grabbed a few beers at Woodstock and out of nowhere, this girl I had met before around town, popped up from the side of the bar with a birthday cake. Then yesterday, the Korean teachers got me a cake and we had a little party, I didn't tell them it was my birthday pretty much to avoid just that, but it was a nice gesture anyway. Although, as was to be expected, I got to my party and then just sat there listening to them speak Korean for a half hour. Today one of the students gave me a present, it was a picture frame that says "Nice memories" on it. That was nice, but I may have actually shed a tear when I read the note she gave me "To Ryan, Happy Birthday to you--Happy Birthday to you--Happy Birthday Dear Ryan Teacher--Happy Birthday to you. Sorry!! I'm late! But, always thank you. I'm meet you very happy :-) I wish you a lot of happy day--always smile--and many many Happy Birthday to you"

I went to the dentist yesterday. I had a good one picked out I found online, it said he went to Harvard and spoke good English so I was all excited. But then I got off the subway and couldn't find the building so I just wandered into this random place. It said dental clinic on it and after 3 hours of sleep the night before combined with xanax, I would have been fine getting a root canal from a drunk guy on the street. That is what I needed though. I'd prefer to go to the dentist when I got home, but a root canal here costs $6. As I expected, since the dentist was Korean, he did not wear gloves at first, but his soft skin in my mouth was quite soothing. He put them on later for some reason, which was a bit of a letdown. Luckily I have five more visits lined up with him, hopefully he doesn't have AIDS though, otherwise I have a 110 percent chance of getting it. But I don't think Koreans can get AIDS, since they are not able to die.


Hold on, is this my second post this week? Oh, forget this. It's Bender's last weekend in Korea, we should be on the sixth bottle of soju by now.