So I made my first student cry today. Really, I didn't see it coming and it was a bit weird. It happened in one of my nightmare classes, the ones that make me question for 45 minutes why I ever signed that teaching contract. Many of the kids have these electronic korean-english dictionaries, which obviously can be quite useful, but usually the kids just fool around with them all class. I told James A to put this gadget away a bunch of times, until it got to the point where I told him if he took it out once again, I would take it away. Clearly he took it out again and then showdown was on. He tried to shove the thing in his bag real quick, as though I wouldn't be able to find it. At this point, I was locked in. There was no way I could back down, especially not in such a bad class. They already walk all over me. I demanded that James give me the dictionary and when he refused, I gave him a choice: either give me the damn thing or go sit in the hallway the rest of class. This went on for a good five minutes and he refused to say a word, he just buried his head on his lap. Eventually the tears came. For such a pain-in-the-ass student, he really wussed out when push came to shove. At the point, it was all awkward and I felt bad continuing to yell at him so I just told him if he ever brought the dictionary out in class again, I would take it away for good. I obviously don't have that kind of authority, but it seemed to work. He was quiet and I guess a bit traumatized the rest of the class.

My biggest problem with teaching continues to be my mentality, namely that it doesn't not even approach professional. I still feel much more like a student than some figure that is supposed to enrich young minds. For example, today during a middle school class, during a listening exercise where the students had to take notes on a lecture, I walked around the class to make sure everyone was writing. And this one kid, who is actually quite funny, had written on the top of his paper "F-you" and he also utilized the present continuous form of the verb elsewhere. It wasn't directly towards me and he was just fooling around, but still, the only response from a teacher in that situation is a serious one. I laughed. As terrible as it is, I just couldn't help it. I picture myself being in the class and watching a teacher discover profanities all over someone's paper, I would be rolling on the floor. And so goes my problem. I have not yet made that mental switch from carefree student to take-no-prisoners teacher. Everyday it becomes easier and easier for me to make it through the day and I'm now quite comfortable with the actual teaching stuff, I just need that occasional slap to remind me that I'm 24 every once in a while.

I have been playing a lot more games in class lately. Not so much to make learning English fun, but to give these kids a bit of a breather. Many of them are in school from 8am to 8pm everyday. They go to public school and then they head to the hogwans, private schools such as mine, for more studying. It's actually quite ridiculous. Some of them get home from school at 10pm and then they have homework from 10 classes to do. When I asked one class of 11-12 year olds what time they went to bed at night, the responses were all: 1am, 1:30am, 2am, a few were even 3am. Sure a bunch of these kids are really smart and they might go on to make a lot of money someday, but hello, a childhood? That's a big thing to miss out on and sadly, many of them are trapped under a mountain of schoolwork that obscures all those other important things. And you wonder why Korea has the fastest growing suicide rate in the world. No, no you don't.

I'm not sure if I mentioned this already, but Koreans eat what's called kimchi at every meal. Doesn't matter when it is. 6am, 10pm, probably in the shower, everywhere all the time. It's basically this mixture of cabbage, radish and chili peppers. I had never tried it before I came here and when I first did, I was, well, revolted. It made my taste buds rise up in revolt and scream "please, god, never do that to us again." Needless to say, I threw the towel in a kimchi pretty quickly. Well, last night my whole world turned around. Usually kimchi is served in a little dish, but last night at dinner, Erika ordered what can only be described as a kimchi pancake. Man, I destroyed that thing. I think the change in texture (it's usually dripping wet) really did something for me. Hopefully this is a milestone for me. Because come on, the leading cause of English teachers breaking their contract early is an inability to love the almighty kimchi. One month in. I can't even imagine the person I'm going to be in Oct. 2007 when I board that plane back to NY.

(Photo: Outside the Yongsan Electronics Market)