Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Homeward Bound (and Gagged)

Post #92 from Korea, and the final one. I'm throwing up a hot four-way of videos, which I don't expect anyone to watch, I couldn't even make it through them. I was trying to get the kids to be cute and say goodbye into the camera, and that just went terribly. In the first video, I had just told the kids that when I got home, I wasn't going to get a job but instead I would just steal my parents money. So they had a blast grabbing the camera from me and delivering that message to my parents. In the second one, it captures one of the rare times where I've been genuinely pissed off at a kid. When I utter the words "not funny", after a kid draws on my face and shirt with a marker, that could be translated into adult speak as "@$#@ off".

So yeah, I've got two more days of work, then I collect my huge final paycheck and catch a plane out of this place on Saturday. The school paid $1800 for the plane ticket, because they are retarded, but that's not really something I worry about. The only two things I have to worry about between now and 7:05 Saturday night when the bird touches down at JFK is making sure the school coughs up all the cash I'm due (but don't deserve) and deciding how many drugs I can take on the plane without lapsing into a coma.

Final thoughts on Korea? Don't care? That's OK, I'll give them to you anyway. My feelings towards this place have changed a lot since I first came, the first few months were all just new experiences and it was exciting. Around the 4th month, I really loved it here, it was getting easier at work and I wasn't feeling so isolated. And then there was a problem. You stay in Korea more than six months and that's enough time for the country to really bear down on you and beat you with its culture.

Simply put, foreigners just aren't treated properly in Korea. Screw the excuses about cultural differences and how Koreans aren't used to be around foreigners, you're either nice to people or you're an ass. And Korea is full of asses. The racism isn't blatant and it isn't in your face, probably one of the reasons I didn't really pick up on when I first got here, but dig a little deeper and it's there, and it's not a pretty picture. I've always felt alone in this country, even when surrounded by Koreans. It's tough to describe, but anyone whose been in Korea for any length of time knows that feeling I'm talking about.

The worst isolation, by far, has come at work. Nathan and I are up against a great beast, in the form of a bunch of Koreans who have no desire to even be remotely friendly towards us. It's easy to just say, so what, just ignore them, do your job and go home. And I convinced myself to do that a long time ago, but it still eats away at you, day by day. Somehow God forgot to give Koreans the gene that controls showing compassion towards people of different races. Here's an example, the teacher who will replace me will get here on Saturday night, just as I did last year. Then at Monday, at 2pm, still jet-lagged and probably awake since 5am, he'll be thrown to the wolves. He will walk into that office and the Korean teachers will look up from their desks for a second, smile and say hi, and five seconds later, all will be calm again. He will just be the next white guy. Besides Nathan, nobody will help him, nobody will ask him anything about his life, about how he's adjusting to Korea. He will be expected to teach 30 classes a week and teach them all well, without any direction as to how to teach, what materials to use, and if he doesn't do this, he will be looked down upon and treated like an idiot. It's an awfully difficult situation to come into, and all I can do is wish him the best. Although, for his sake, he better not see this blog until at least his 6th month here.

If I could do it all again, I wouldn't. As in, I wouldn't have come to Korea. Living abroad is an amazing experience and I think everyone should do it at least once in their life, but the world is full of incredible places and cities, and Seoul, South Korea is not one of them. I knew before I came here that I was choosing money over the experience and I also kind of knew before I came that would be a mistake. I should have gone to Thailand, but what's done is done and getting out of where I was with my life in America last year was still the best decision I've ever made.

I'm heading on a prolonged blog break, although I might post a few more photos and videos once I get home. Honestly, I appreciate the comments people have made about this blog, especially the ones that exaggerate my writing ability, which I will still accept at face-value. To any potential future employers, who will inevitably find this blog: Today (insert future date here), I'm a much different person. I don't even remember that douchebag who wrote this stuff. Please hire me. I'm probably very poor.

To everyone else, until next time, it's been fun. But not real fun.


Anonymous Steve said...

Hey I enjoyed reading your blog about gave me a few good laughs and a good perspective on teaching/working/living there that I haven't been able to find on other korean blogs.

1:38 PM  
Blogger capitulatenow said...

Re: not wanting to do it over again, wishing you'd done Thailand instead: sorry about that! Heh.

I've already started to feel nostalgic for Korean things that I know, intellectually, do not deserve to be remembered fondly. Maybe that'll happen with you, too. But maybe not.

9:49 AM  
Anonymous Erin said...

Well you just summed-up my feelings too. If I could go back and do it again, I would NOT!

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Blogger Andy M said...

Really enjoyed that post. After being in Korea for over 2 years, can totally relate to it. Korea is a shit hole, but i'm being paid to babysit their rude, ignorant children. and, saving $1000 a month doing so :p

But, i would also not do it again. Korea has bored the f**k out of me. Should have went to Japan :p haha

By the way, hope you don't mind that I've copied some of this post, to put in my blog. Really love the way you've talked about Korea here, very real.

11:43 PM  
Blogger Joshua Kim said...

Hey. Really sorry that you (and some of the ppl who have left comments) wouldn't want to return to Korea again. As a Korean living in Britain, I can kinda understand about da subtle discrimination. But it wd hav bin so much worse had you bin black.

Still, I am grateful to all Americans for the role which the US played in beating back our Communist brothers up north when they invaded in 1950.

Gd luck for the future.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

hi, i'm a korean-american raised in los angeles. i was thinking about moving to seoul for a job and i stumbled upon your site.

the korean side of me can't help but feel a bit offended - it sounds like your time there was very VERY unpleasant, but to each his own. i find it interesting because recently i spent 6 months studying in vienna, austria and i HATED it. the isolation was an issue but also the feeling of being very much invisible in a very homogenous population.

korean can be rude and standoffish, and unfortunately it is part of the culture. austrians can be aloof and unfriendly and that is part of THEIR culture. in either case, we identify with the culture we grew up in and have hard time understanding and/or appreciating others'. just my opinion.

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