Korean girls love Horses- some too much

This weekend was one of the more, um, interesting ones. Friday was pretty weak since we drank too much soju at two restaurants, completely forgetting that normal people go out to bars on weekends. But Saturday made up for it. After a riveting game of soju war, we headed down to Itaewon. I decided to bring the horse head along because the horse head can only create good experiences. The most amazing part was watching the people on the subway react to it. Most of the time Koreans look absolutely pissed on the subway, but that horse head brought so much joy and laughter to our car. It was truly a community service. One girl jumped back about three feet when she saw Bender sitting there with it on.

Although I wanted Bender to keep the thing on all night since it's much funner watch the horse head instead of wearing it, we got to this barbeque thing outside a bar in Itaewon. My coworker David had invited us, but it turned out to just be like 5 people standing around talking about prostitutes. Hung out inside for a while until David decided he wanted to fight me outside. I decided that was a bad idea, the owner asked me if I knew David and I was like, "yeah, I see him everyday." David almost got tossed, we hung around for 20 minutes and then got the hell out of there.We went to Spy Basement, where all the models in Seoul plus me and Bender hangout. I've never seen more attractive girls in one place, ever. So clearly the only to do in that situation is to toss on the horse head, dance around like an idiot and hope one of the girls is into bestiality. Just to be clear, you can not see a thing out of the head and it's hot as hell, but as it has before, it took ahold of me. I think I did about two different hour long stints with the head on. Everyone loved me and Bender hated that I was getting all the attention. Bender says that at one point a hot Korean girl was dancing with me, but I had no way of knowing that, plus there was no way I was taking the head off.Well, the end of the night gets a little bit dirty. I had the head on, of course and I feel somebody grinding up against my leg. Alright, fine, I'm just hoping it's a girl. She moves behind me. And let's just say she reached around me and grabbed something. Something that a random girl probably shouldn't grab of a guy wearing a horse head. I left the head on again, but the horse just wasn't that innocent anymore. When I did finally take the head off, Bender, being the douche he is, had to point out the Korean girl who molested me. And to no one's surprise, she was not one of the hot girls at the place. She acted and looked like someone who would commit female rape. It was around 5am at this point, so the place had cleared out and we were really just watching this beast run around the club with no shoes on. She kept coming over to try to sit on our laps and who knows what the hell she was doing, but there is one memory, actually two, that have forever ruined the concept of boobs for me. I didn't speak a word to her all night and I was just staring at her in "you are seriously messed up" way, but I guess she thought I was interested. She stood like a foot in front of me, lifted up her shirt, and stole all of the good thoughts I've ever had about girls.

Bender and I were stunned, and again, she may have taken these looks of amazement to mean that we were digging her show, because a couple minutes later, she did the exact same thing again. I've had nightmares about that nipple for a couple nights now. Oh, at one point, she also leaned over to me, made some awful makeout face, and almost knocked me off my chair. It was mighty tough, but I resisted, mainly because I would have made Bender castrate me if any bodily fluids were exchanged with that girl. It was a sketchy night, but also pretty amazing. I'm just glad I didn't drink so much that the whole night would just be a hazy fog (see- every other Friday and Saturday night).

I got a small raise at work, basically by threatening to quit. They also agreed to give me a week off in July, which will hopefully be spent on the beach in Thailand. So I got what I want and it should all be smooth sailing for here on out. The biggest thing I need to decide in my life right now is whether or not to bring the horse head out to Club Night on Friday. Sometimes it is really tough being me.

Photos- from top- me and douche, me and Bender and City Hall downtown.